If I Started Again. . .

One of the more common prompts for lolita bloggers and video creators is starting over: what would you do if you magically lost your whole wardrobe and had to start again? After 8+ years in lolita (and how did that number get so high anyhow?), I think I'm past due to answer this question. 

My answer is complicated by my gender, the current economic situation, and the proliferation of indie brands with variable sizing. In simple terms, if I were starting my lolita wardrobe from scratch today, I probably wouldn't wear lolita at all. 

Getting into lolita was an accident for me. For most purposes, I usually regard my alternative Japanese fashion start date as August of 2014, when I made my first Bodyline order. But that isn't strictly true. I started attempting to buy J-fashion in about 2012, but I was too scared to do anything on Livejournal, too suspicious to buy from eBay, and Lace Market didn't even exist yet. I had fallen in love with ouji fashion, but as I was on the squishy side, I thought that loose dresses with fewer points to fit would do better for me. 

In those days, the main affordable options for ouji were secondhand Brand sales, western goth and historic fashion retailers, and FanPlusFriend. Though the English-speaking lolita community knew of a few Chinese brands, they were a lot smaller, more uncommon, and less prolific than they are today. These added up to one conclusion: I couldn't afford to wear ouji. 

So, when I got serious about wearing alternative fashion, I opted for casual lolita, which was cheaper and more size flexible than ouji options. I was uncomfortable with looking sexy or like a woman (having already had my fair share of gender dysphoria), so cute looks were my best bet. I bought one pair of AATP shorts that I've never fit, but I focused my wardrobe building on wearable skirts and cutsews for everyday looks. I also have a pair of FanPlusFriend shorts from Lace Market: for a long time, they were the only shorts that fit.

But that was then. Today's fashion ecosystem is chock full of size-inclusive brands with affordable options. Instead of jumping ship to lolita due to lack of options, I think the current environment would help me build a comfortable and gender-affirming ouji wardrobe from the get-go. Instead of a first Bodyline order with an OP that pinches my arms, I would have gotten a Chinese brand haul from Taobao full of all the basics I need. 

I'm of course grateful for my experience and wardrobe today: a lot of my favorite pieces would be impossible to find in the current environment. I just don't think I would want the same wardrobe from scratch. I may have started wearing lolita over ouji out of convenience, but I truly love both fashions.

So, in conclusion, if I had to start again with my lolita wardrobe, I wouldn't restart lolita at all. Today's ouji is enough for me.

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