Bibliotheca: (Ignoring) the Future

That's right, it's most of the way through the month and I haven't been hit with the metaphorical paintball gun of inspiration, so it's time for the Bibliotheca theme: the future.

 I've given up on it. The future, that is. 

Obligatory Spongebob joke

Not as in the fatalistic, "we have no future" idea that edges into eco-fascism, but on the idea of planning it in advance or predicting it. With COVID variants coming out like Disney movies (and just as popular), it seems futile to plan major events and travel. Additionally, supply chains are getting disrupted and morphed into unpredictability. The separate trends (both within and without lolita) have diverged and atomized to the point where identifying long-term changes in the fashion is difficult; the long-term impression from this time period will be visible only in retrospect. 

Living with uncertainty, letting it fester in your heart, is an endless source of anxiety, and I have plenty of anxiety, thanks. I let myself get stressed and plot and negotiate through the entire rest of my life: Do I have enough money for tuition? Should I go to this conference? Do I take more hours at work? I worry about my future all the time, just not my lolita one. 

Lolita is an escape, whether you're in a Shimotsuma cabbage patch or driving the D.C. beltway. Precious few people choose lolita as a career. I don't want to make the thing that destresses me into yet another stressor. I have a few things that I look forward to (Katsucon, the occasional Closet Child shipment, boba), a vague idea of potential wardrobe additions and subtractions, and a couple coord ideas, but my planning ends there. I just sort of ride the proverbial wave.

Part of this comes from the freedom and maturity of having been in the fashion for a while. A newbie with only a few can't be directionless in their wardrobe building; every coordinate needs to be planned with precision and every purchase needs to add something useful. Additionally, the social pressures associated with lolita can be crushing; surrounded by images of lolitas with years of experience and purchases, insecurity is almost inevitable.

So, for the future, my goal is to be kind to myself and others and just not worry about it. I'm in a good place myself: now is the time to help others and live in vivo, not to trap myself in retrospection and scheming. Because the best thing about the future, after all? It can wait.