My connection with lolita came through anime conventions; I started going to cons and cosplaying when I was 14. Fortunately, it's very difficult to find photos of my cosplays. I pretty much ignored lolitas at cons until a year later, when my friend wanted to do a lolita-inspired cosplay of (you guessed it) a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic character. As a supportive friend, I wanted to learn everything I could about both topics, but I quickly gave up on the MLP aspect and focused instead on researching lolita, specifically through the Livejournal Lolita Handbook. At age 16, I planned a lolita-inspired cosplay myself, this time of Monomi from Danganronpa. I didn't actually add any lolita elements to the cosplay, but I used a cutsew tutorial from sew-loli to help make my shirt.
I bought my first actual lolita item my senior year of high school: it was the Marcine OP from Bodyline in the black colorway, it cost $20, and I got my mom to pay for it by saying it was a creepy doll Halloween costume. I actually did wear it that Halloween (with white tights, a poorly-handmade rectangle headdress, and my choir uniform shoes), but it was less a costume and more an excuse to test drive lolita. I felt fabulous in that dress: it was the first time in my memory that I looked in the mirror, saw myself, and was happy about it. I had been adding steampunk and historical touches to my wardrobe, but this dress was really when I took the plunge. I originally wanted to focus on ouji, but lolita was much more accessible.
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| Marcine OP (L459), 2012 |
As my senior year of high school went on, I had a lot of spare computer time in the library because of an online course: after my lesson module, I'd go to Lolibrary, Yahoo Japan Auctions, or Closet Child, just to browse and figure out what things cost. I made my first secondhand purchases that fall, one from Lacemarket and one from Y!J auctions. I built a casual wardrobe, but I never actually wore any of it outside the house.
I started wearing lolita multiple times a week as soon as my freshman year of college began. This generally consisted of casual skirt coords with cutsews and simple Mary Janes. My coords were a little less polished than what I'd wear today, but they had a
strong base of pieces that I still own, wear, and love to bits, including most of my dreaded bunny-ear items. My first major event to which I wore lolita was Nekocon 2015; I apologized for wearing Putumayo, which, in hindsight, is ridiculous. After that, I contributed a little more online and wore lolita to every con I went to. I didn't have a car on campus, so I couldn't go to local meetups often, but I tried my best; I usually had rehearsals or concerts on ILD preventing my participation. I wore lolita everywhere I reasonably could, up to and including bringing a full coordinate on my choir's international tour for casual days. I also came out as nonbinary. At my graduation, I wore Meta's Musical Cat Mini Skirt.
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| Musical Cat Mini Skirt, Metamorphose, 2014 |
Since then, I've been trying (and failing) to get a steady job, but I still wear lolita often, even if I can't exactly do much anymore. I love my comm and meeting with them in whatever form, physical or virtual, and,though I miss real cons, the online ones have been amazing replacements. I've also got my wardrobe right where I want it, with only a few more things I'd like to add in. I've been wearing lolita for about seven years now, but I still feel a bit like a newbie: maybe I'm a perma-ita, or maybe I just need to learn to trust myself. Lolita may be silly and pointless, but lolita and the lolita community have brought me and others joy for years now and that's worth celebrating. Happy ILD!
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